


my god, i'm so lonely

by AluminumFoil



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Canon Compliant, F/M, Ficlet, Gen, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Mentioned Ahsoka Tano, Mentioned Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mentioned Padmé Amidala, Mentioned Shmi Skywalker, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27684857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AluminumFoil/pseuds/AluminumFoil
Summary: it's our favorite human disaster coming with another self-deprication session!
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	my god, i'm so lonely

**Author's Note:**

> title is from mistki's nobody, which you should really listen to. I wrote this fic while listening to it over and over because i was sad, so, obviously, the title is from the song. have fun, boys

Just the stars.

Just him and the stars and nothing else. No one else. 

The bonds with his master and padawan were both dim, as were the force signatures of his men, because they were all sleeping. As they should have been, but again, he couldn’t sleep, so he took the Twilight out for a test run to see if the hyperdrive he bought and customised in his spare time (which was very limited these days. Force, he needed to end this war.) would work. 

And he ended up staring into the abyss of space. 

Just him.

And the stars.

And nothing else.

He shook his head, to get rid of any thoughts, and thrusted the joystick forward, just to go fast, just to stop staring into the abyss, to stop any thoughts from coming in, to stop the screams of the Force saying that he wasn’t good enough, that he’d never be anything, that he wasn’t a good Jedi, wasn’t a good husband, wasn’t a good master, a good friend, a good leader, and good protector, wasn’t enough wasn’t enough  _ wasn’t enough wasn’t enough  _ wasn’t-

He took a deep breath, to try and get the Force to  _ shut the fuck up _ for once, to leave him alone, to quiet down, at least, to stop reminding him that he wasn’t enough. He already knew that. He had a dead mother and a missing hand and a traumatized 15-year-old padawan and dead men as a reminder. He should have been strong enough to protect them. 

The voices quieted down into whispers, which was better. Obi-Wan talked a lot about the Force whispering, guiding him. 

They were still there, though. Telling him he wasn’t enough. That’d he’d never be anything but a slave boy from Tatooine. That he could pretend to be a Jedi, he could dress up in their fancy robes and wield their lightsabers and know their language and do their dances and eat their food and learn their songs and be part of their ceremonies and do everything with them, but he wasn’t a good Jedi. He wasn’t good enough. He’d never be good enough.

He sped forward through space, not caring about how far he went from his fleet, just wanting to get away from his mind, away from his problems, away from his responsibilities, to go as fast as possible, so it would be just the stars.

No more war.

No more problems.

No more responsibilities.

No more thoughts.

No more Force.

No more worries.

No more Anakin.

Just the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
